5 Strategies for Eliminating Stress So You Can Enjoy Time with Your Family

Does anyone else feel like concentrated time with family can actually bring on MORE stress?

Between uncomfortable conversations, passive-aggressive comments from that in-law, the pressure of making memories and grief that resurges at the worst moment, it’s a wonder that any of us is left standing after a reunion.

But there are so many ways to keep stress at bay and actually enjoy your family.

So today, we’re sharing just 5 tried and true strategies for eliminating stress so you can be at peace and present.

Reflect and set intentions. 

It starts with your approach and expectations. If you know that particular family members or topics are difficult for you to deal with, acknowledge that. Maybe you’ve experienced the loss of a loved one (and it doesn’t have to be recent) and you feel their absence acutely. You’re dealing with pain or grief that people want to minimize or explain away. Or you’re the go to for planning and holding everything together for your family and you’re ready to crack under the pressure.

Reflect on past experiences and the patterns you’ve established. If you’ve had great encounters and memories, what can you do in your current situation to bring some of that into this season? If you’ve been less than enthused by family interactions, identify the culprits and how you plan to change those patterns this time.

This is a perfect opportunity to journal your reflections and set your intentions. Something about writing things down helps us rewire our thought patterns, remember our goals and stick to a plan.

Schedule in down time.

You might be an introvert, neurodivergent or a highly sensitive person. Or you might just be a human who needs some alone time and a break from the chaos now and then. Either way, acknowledge your needs and set boundaries for your own wake. Refusing to disengage will only wear you down, leading to missed sleep, self-sabotage, and irritation. 

That’s why you need to schedule—and I mean—schedule reminders and times of rest with no social responsibility. Actually set timers or add it to your reminders app.

Set boundaries early and often.

Most people only set boundaries when they’ve already been crossed. By that point, you’re agitated, hurt and it’s harder to respond out of a calm and rational place.

Rather than waiting for a match to strike, assess what things have typically set you off in the past or anything that you’re anticipating being an issue. Decide on what your boundary is and how you will communicate it. If you have a partner, it’s important to discuss and share these boundaries with them so you can support each other.

For instance, if there’s tension over politics in your family (and who doesn’t experience this), you might decide to instate a rule that you don’t discuss politics or the news at family gatherings. Don’t wait for the problem to arise when you know it’s coming. Tackle it head on by telling everyone who is gathering that the topic is off the table. Chances are your whole family will be relieved. Come up with a quick and easy script to use if anyone violates the rule. Like a secret code word, it should be something easy for you to remember and repeat. Practice if you need to.

Ask for what you need.

This goes hand in hand with establishing boundaries. If you’re an eldest daughter, this is probably for you.

Check in with yourself regularly. What’s your energy level at? How are you feeling? What’s keeping you up at night? How can you delegate, share the load or invite someone into your vulnerability? 

Recognize that your family’s experience is not your sole responsibility. When you try to control it, you rob everyone of a responsibility that you all share to create the type of relationships you all crave. Involve other members of the family in planning conversations. Decision by committee rarely works, so try delegating things or giving a list of topics that need someone to manage and ask for volunteers. You’ll feel relieved when someone helps and it helps prevent resentment and loneliness on all sides. 

Whatever you feel towards your family you’re not alone. How we hold our family is rarely a simple or singular thing. You’re not wrong for having complicated feelings or dreading the stress that family events can bring. The good news is there’s simple ways to find relief from unnecessary stress. It just requires intentionality.